Karla Noyes' Captain's Log Series

5/19/18 The world is a better place since two young people got married on a sunny May day in England and, as far as I know, have committed themselves to a lifetime of charitable work; and two billion people around the world got to hear a very long sermon about the importance and Power of Love. The pastor said “God is Love,” how cool is that? I burst out with John Lennon’s “All you need is love.” A bi-racial bride and many people of color among the guests and performers. It’s a new day. (What would mom say?) Franz Schubert's “Ave Maria,” with the cellist Sheku Kanneh-Mason and small orchestra, was the most beautiful piece of music – ever; transformative, from the heavens. Loved the hats! You know the bride’s huge 16-foot veil and train was held on her head only by her tiara? With all that fabric dragging on the ground, that tiara must have been attached to her head with rivets. At one point I thought she would yank it off and toss it aside. Everyone was on their best behavior an...

4/21/18 The Job Thing I’ve been “between jobs” for 2 full months and have applied to 18 local State jobs; I’m not doing nothing. Went on one interview at CalFire for which I was very prepared, charming and engaging. Haven’t heard back from them for 2 weeks, so it’s probably a “no.” I have learned more about how the State hires: a potential State employee, either new or currently employed with the State, fills out an online quiz which asks two question, how many college credit do you have in these areas, and how many years of experience do you have doing (fill in the blank.) I always whump the education but am too honest about the years of experience, I haven’t been including the years of working for myself. Out of those questions you are given a score which puts you in a ranking. The people doing the hiring are strongly encouraged to hire from the top three ranks, and current State Employees before others. I rank 4 or 5. My only hope is that people from the top three ranks do not...

3/6/18 Open House at my house… This past Sunday we had a family of Blue Birds and White Faced Nuthatches investigate the bird house 40’ outside our kitchen window. And as always, buyers come in clumps. I hope they’re not too uncomfortable about a ‘multiple offer’ situation, although in this case I think: ‘possession is nine-tenths of the law.’ No further inspections or moving trucks, yet. Last Days I’ve been officially ‘between jobs’ for 2 ½ weeks. About a month before I left I had requested a meeting with my supervisor asking her to give me a review, as she would any permanent employee, because I wanted her to come to the conclusion about how much I had improved. It didn’t go as planned. She was unprepared, couldn’t find the form online, had to dig in her file cabinet and surfaced with the paper records of our disciplinary conversations. She allowed as how I was doing good work, and was a big help to one of the employees, then she launched into all the past grievances,...

2/3/18 “Holy Smokes, Batman! This stuff is legal?” “Yes, Robin, the aging Baby Boomers who vote this in were thinking of the 1 oz. lids of light-green leaves that you’d have to smoke a whole joint to maybe get a buzz, or the so called Panama Red that was flower tops but all seeds, nasty tasting and harsh. Since those bygone days selective breeding and careful cultivation techniques have produced marijuana that is of extraordinary strength.” “I feel like I’m on a roller coaster!” (“Hoo-boy, I’ll be hiding the keys to the Batmobile tonight.”) There is no reason that having marijuana should land you in jail so it’s a good thing it’s been made legal in California. For those of you unfamiliar with the product but familiar with wine, it’s like wine but more so. It’s like the difference between wine and vodka. A 4 oz. glass of wine is a 4 oz. glass of wine, but a 4 oz. glass of vodka is much more! If you are so inclined, try it after work when the kids are out of the house, y...

12/14/17 The Exam In graduate school I took an accounting class. Now, I’d taken 3 quarters of accounting as an undergraduate, what more is there? Quite a bit. Our instructor spoke ‘accounting’ to us in every class and wrote copious notes on the board that we dutifully copied into our binders. One day I turned to the woman next to me, who always wore the most stylish high heels, she and her husband worked for Anheuser-Busch, and said “I’ve read the chapter and done the homework but I didn’t see any of this, did you?” She shook her head. It was a tough class. At the end was the final exam. The strategy for taking any test is - first put your name on the paper! Then read it through and do the easy ones first. My entire 125-member graduating class was jammed into one large room, an arm’s length between each desk. The fear hormone was thick in the air. The tests were handed out, upside down; the instructions read to us, we were told to begin. I turned mine over and confidently wrote...

10/28/17 Your Vigil-Auntie and her PTSD A few years ago I recruited the neighbors in my subdivision to join Nextdoor.com in order to lobby our county supervisor to re-pave our streets. The process was well received, a lot of residents joined. We got the attention of our supervisor, she and I are on a first name basis and our streets are scheduled to be repaired in the (before-fire) not too distant future. I’ve had good cell phone service the entire time and was the Nextdoor spokesperson to the evacuees of our neighborhood. “How’s the smoke?” “Better, there’s a small oculus of blue sky directly above, otherwise everything is yellow-grey.” Speaking of smoke, when I was in Sonoma, finally getting some gas, I saw a wall of smoke, like those photos of sandstorms, totally opaque less than a football field away. It was another one of those ‘oh-s__t’ moments.  I went back to Phyllis’s, slowly trying to determine which road I could use to get out of town as there were reports of...

11/12/17 “But there aren’t any pictures!” I was one of those kids in junior high who walked to school reading a book, probably a Ray Bradbury or Robert A. Heinlein. I volunteered to work in the school library, better to discover new adventures. The librarian invited me and a couple other kids to attend a book fair! A whole auditorium filled with people talking about books! I don’t remember the featured speaker but the subject was to encourage young people to write and tell stories. In 5 th grade my teacher displayed a couple of 8 by 10’s of different scenes and invited us to compose. Something attracted me to the mixed evergreen forest. The Creative Source grabbed me by the arm and dragged me into the forest. It was like hearing voices in my head, scary. The theme was some convoluted, emotional story about a half-wild, vengeful girlchild. I certainly wasn’t going to share that with the teacher. After struggling to get some control, the story had a mind of its own, I gave u...