Karla Noyes' Captain's Log Series

First, you must tell me how much weight you've gained and what are your favorite foods to cook (and eat.) Are you supporting your local restaurants by ordering take-out? I'm afraid to step on the scale but all my waistbands are shrinking!  We've ordered take-out a couple of times, it's been delicious, and the business owners so appreciative. If you have a regular income, I encourage you to support your local businesses, if you can. Still no virus here, yet. Our county supervisor says it will peak in Sonoma County in two months. Ugh, so distant? I'd just as soon get it, get over it and move on, except for the real possibility of dying. Speaking of which, sort of, here's a link to Chris Cuomo's How to Beat the Coronavirus:  https://www.cnn.com/videos/media/2020/04/07/closing-argument-secret-kicking-coronavirus-chris-cuomo-cpt-vpx.cnn/video/playlists/coronavirus/   Basically, he says to stay inside, get up, move around, stretch, drink plenty of fluids and...

First, let me say I don’t have it, yet. I’m told by management that there is one confirmed case in Independent Living but that is being seriously downplayed. Yesterday The Administrator (“No… sir!”) announced a meeting in the parking lot so we could be 6’ apart. We wondered what she would say. One resourceful employee accessed The Sacramento Bee online and searched recent stories about State workers. She found one that said there will be layoffs, which seriously dampened the mood in the room. It stands to reason as the State’s going to drastically lose revenue. I announced that I’m still on probation and could be let go at any time for no reason. That got me worrying about applying for Social Security asap and wondering if I could get a job stocking shelves or driving delivery vans, anything. It was a pretty nervous 30 minutes waiting for the meeting. What she actually said is that ALL of us are essential (whew!) and outlined how, if we felt sick, we could call in and get Administrat...

The Embrace With the arrival of the coronavirus I have a new ritual I perform with every interview - I bring the center piece. Out of my bag I pull a box of tissues and a bottle of hand sanitizer and announce that this is my Japanese Tea Ceremony, then ritually sanitize my hands and the pen we will both use to sign the documents. Last week one of my interviewees responded with a greeting in Japanese. "Oh, you speak Japanese?" "Just a few words." "Me, too. How is it that you know some Japanese?" "I spent a month in Japan studying Aikido." "Is that so? I studied Aikido for 5 years in the 70s, I got pretty good." "I went with a teacher of mine. We went to different dojos and practiced. Some of the dojos didn't have mats, only linoleum floors. I worked with these 10-year olds who had no trouble falling on the floor and rolling, but for me it was ouch, ouch, ouch." "I know what you mean, rolling on a hard su...

Fall 2001 _________ Vineyards would make an excellent brothel – a very expensive one. The location is spectacular in the lower, eastern hills of Napa Valley. On a hill itself, it has a view of other oak-covered, breast-like hills. The style is reminiscent of a Tuscan villa with tan, stucco walls, large terra cotta floor tiles, large earthen pots with fountains of dried flowers, wrought iron lighting fixtures and most wonderfully – large, original art on the walls. For me the most memorable piece, because I had to walk by it 50 times that night, was a large, multimedia representation of Mickey Mouse by Andy Warhol.   While not my favorite subject I came to appreciate each stroke of the artist’s hand, and to admire his subtle use of fun colors. It’s so rare to see original art in places other than museums and galleries, but then I don’t get out to many brothels. The other art was more tasteful to the quiet winery setting. The structure is oriented north-south, parallel ...

May 12, 2002 Wedding Season has begun again in Wine Country with the first event at ____ Winery last Saturday. I keep thinking each wedding I attend is more expensive than the last, and this one must have cost a mint! (But it didn’t come up to the one last year for the TV news announcer at _____ Vineyards Gardens, all those fur coats!) This was the first wedding reception held at ____, which opened last summer. It’s clear the building was not designed for this sort of thing, for example, there was no industrial kitchen, or one that we were allowed access to. I’m not quite sure of the building’s purpose: there are art galleries upstairs, a small café, and a small gourmet food store downstairs. It has the look of a museum with two, open, foyer-type spaces, which will be good for cocktails at art openings. This wedding reception utilized both of those spaces. Of course, you could have hosted a nice party in the ladies room, it was large and attractive enough. I don’t kno...

Two related lessons: One elderly man I interviewed recently told me: if you’re happy or not is your choice. I experienced this once, Brian was a Cub Scout and I took him to a Pine Car Derby held in the lunch room of a local elementary school. I did not want to be there, I can’t remember why, but I had a black stormy cloud over me. Grumpy, sullen, withdrawn I was standing in the middle of the room, someone had set up a boom box playing the Beach Boys. I scanned the entire room and everyone was having a really terrific time: laughing, smiling, talking, helping. At that moment I made a conscious decision to give in and enjoy myself. It worked. Try it. Another elderly man had to tell me that he has no patience with residents who gripe about the Home. “Go to the entrance, do you see a locked gate? No. You can leave at any time.” If you’re unhappy with your situation, your marriage, your job, your ____. Get out. Take action. Look into the alternatives (you might discover that you’re ...

Lesson 1 The best part of my job is going out to the units, or our hospital, and meeting the members to obtain their signatures on required documents. I met a woman who was out on the terrace of the hospital under an awning smoking a cigarette in the light rain. She’s my age and had been in a minor car accident, with only a broken foot (only.) She’s a good story-teller and relayed the experience. She was driving off campus when she was T-boned by a car leaving the champagne business just outside our facility. The police saw it all, she was taken to the local community hospital (they do all the x-rays, surgeries and fancy stuff), then released back here. She said her life flashed before her eyes, then she wondered “did I tell everyone that I love them?” Well, I’m telling you: I love Y-O-U! For some reason I’m feeling quite content this time of year. Usually I feel that the winter holiday season is imposed upon me, like a burden. I’m supposed to be happy, and I say “Bah, humbug!” ...