Captain's Log - #45 Best Part of My Day
Two related lessons:
One elderly man I interviewed recently told me: if you’re
happy or not is your choice. I experienced this once, Brian was a Cub Scout and
I took him to a Pine Car Derby held in the lunch room of a local elementary
school. I did not want to be there, I can’t remember why, but I had a black stormy
cloud over me. Grumpy, sullen, withdrawn I was standing in the middle of the
room, someone had set up a boom box playing the Beach Boys. I scanned the
entire room and everyone was having a really terrific time: laughing, smiling,
talking, helping. At that moment I made a conscious decision to give in and
enjoy myself. It worked. Try it.
Another elderly man had to tell me that he has no patience
with residents who gripe about the Home. “Go to the entrance, do you see a
locked gate? No. You can leave at any time.” If you’re unhappy with your
situation, your marriage, your job, your ____. Get out. Take action. Look into
the alternatives (you might discover that you’re not as unhappy at you thought
when you investigate the possibilities.)
Wonderful Winter
We’re having a delightful grey, rainy, wet winter. Where I
live I’m surrounded by tall hills, there’s only a small sliver of sky available
but I work in Napa Valley which feels flat as a plate, the sky is an expansive
dome above. We’ve had some majestic clouds moving through and in the sunset, when
I drive home, they are illumined with soft pinks and corals. I have to make
myself pay attention to the traffic. And where I work is so beautiful, spacious
green lawns, majestic trees, Spanish Colonial buildings where the light plays. With
all the trees there’s so many birds! As I walk from one building to the next I
am rubber-necking the whole time. (I know, I know, don’t trip and break
something.) It’s all so visually stimulating. The hills behind the buildings
upholstered with oaks and bays…
First Probationary Report
I have a 12 month probationary period and had my first of-two
Probationary Report Interviews. Christ! He’s keeping track of every single
mistake, like Santa Claus, am I naughty or nice? Let’s just say “there’s room
for improvement.” Perfection and professionalism are the minimum standards. I
wish there was more positive feedback because I am doing a good job. I am
completely on my own and keeping all the things I’m responsible for covered, I
think that’s worth a good word. Well, this is the expectation, darling. (He
didn’t say darling, that wouldn’t be professional.) I was able to squeeze out
of him that he thinks I’m doing well (but with your education... Sheesh!) I remind
myself that I could be fired at any time with no reason given, after I’m approved
as a State employee there’s a different process - which I don’t want to learn!
In any case I haven’t been fired, yet, and I am making the effort to improve.
Oh, one thing, he wants me to be more assertive, instead of asking questions and
taking instruction he wants me to describe the problem then give my recommendation.
Ok, I can do that, thanks for letting me know. I feel like I am being groomed for
the professional position of Staff Services Analyst. Thanks!
I mentioned that we, in the Business Administration office,
have ‘themed Fridays.’ We had a onesie day - I had no idea that they make onesies
for adults. Yesterday was a ‘wear your favorite sports team jersey’ I borrowed
Kevin’s 49er shirt. A couple weeks ago we had a 70s theme. I’ve attached a
photo of Michael for your enjoyment. He is the *extremely* loud, extremely
ebullient gay guy in our office, with a heart as big as the planet. I should
have taken a photo of him in his King Tut outfit. He’s got style. The people in
my office are like a pack of puppies, laughing and talking and tumbling over
each other with jokes. I laugh along. The humor I grew up with was cutting and
one-upping, like how guys interact, no? It cost me my marriage, since then I
have expunged myself of humor, but these people are so free and easy with it,
it’s like playfully touching each other with loving words. This, for me, is something
where “there’s room for improvement.” (There’s too much of my mother in me.)
Best part of my day
Still the most enjoyable part of my job is interacting with members
(otherwise it’s all paper and computers.) The other day I spoke with a 93-year old
prospective member who was very sharp, had all of his paperwork in order and had
plans to drive 40 miles after our noon meeting to get his scooter repaired then
drive 78 miles home, probably in the dark, and he could only walk by shuffling
his walker forward 6” at a time. And, I think I’m a danger on the road. I had an
enjoyable time driving him to his truck on one of our golf carts, the first
time I’ve driven one. You know, they don’t have seat belts? I told him it was
like riding an unfamiliar horse. He shared an engaging story about an unruly
horse he had the sense to decline. A really sweet man.
I met with an elderly Chinese woman and her mixed race
daughter both fluent in Cantonese and English. Mom had some difficulty hearing.
She said she had a new hearing aid but I think it was turned off. I would say
something and the daughter would try to explain the concept in very loud
Chinese. Once in a while mom would turn to me and speak Chinese. We were together
two hours. The mom’s face was like a world-class Chinese brush painting of an
old woman. I loved gazing into her face, the puffy eyelids, the bags under her
eyes, her cheeks soft, quite plump and slightly saggy. She only had one good
eye, the other had some problems but when she smiled at me her good eye
sparkled like a black diamond. Best part of my day.
That’s all for now.
I am always interested in what you’re up to so please keep
me informed.
Many blessings,
Karla/k.j./mom
I am
migrating to a new Email Address:
Thank
you!
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