Captain's Log #32 - "Club Med"

I work at Napa State Hospital, the bulk of the patients are there because they have been homeless, mentally ill and have done something against the law, been caught and have been processed through the criminal-justice system which has determined that they are incompetent to stand trial, until they get ‘stabilized’ on a cocktail of medications (this place is Club Med.) Previously I mentioned what an unpleasant place it is for the residents: the pale-green walls, the heat, the fence topped with razor wire. I guess it’s a minimum security prison, for the mentally ill. There’s no ‘getting better’ and going back to your family, job or community. When you ‘get better’ you go to jail. To think that California’s prisons are full of the mentally ill. First you’re mentally ill and then you’re stuck in prison. What a nightmare! Thank you, Ronald Regan, when you were governor and shut down the places for these people and turned them out onto the streets to become our homeless problem. This isn’t the way we should be treating people. I like that staff call the patients by their last name “Mister” so-and-so, at least it’s respectful.

Being careful not to violate HIPPA, I’ve read the history of some of the “patients”/inmates, there seems to be a bit of a pattern: early failure in school (a cognitive disability or family situation), years of drug use, especially methamphetamine, boy that seems to be a gateway-to-prison drug, alcohol use, a history of “imprudent” decision-making and actions, then – bang – they do something that gets them arrested. Some have been in and out of State Hospitals multiple times. Certainly the things they did need to be stopped and they need to be removed from society until they can demonstrate they won’t do them again, when they’ve learned new ways of dealing with stressors, slowing down enough to recognize their emotions, etc. Early intervention and education would be so much cheaper and better for us all. Mentoring programs, stuff like that.

My Current, Bi-polar, Job Experience

Last time I wrote about getting two ‘letters of reprimand’ that I received on my second day of employment, actually they were ‘confirming memos’ which are the first steps taken by a supervisor. I guess I’ll get to know more about this process as I got another one yesterday, two and a half pages! Apparently my two office mates, who have been training me, have noticed every little grimace and comment I’ve made, that they have taken offense with, and reported it to my supervisor. The subject of the memo was my ‘lack of professionalism’; whatever. (I suppose that last comment is probably unprofessional, too.) One of the two people I work with is actively stabbing me in the back, how does she think we can get along well enough to work together pleasantly when she does that? I am so glad that I applied for another position last Friday, because I am ‘so outta here.’  It’s too bad because I’m getting better at the work and I’m making friends all over the administration building. No matter, I’ll make friends wherever I go (and apparently enemies.) I’ve been sharing two bouquets of Sweet Peas every day and told people to help themselves to a jar; share what you can. So, I need to do my job, not grimace or roll my eyes and keep my mouth shut until I land another position. It will be 4 weeks until I’m asked to interview, if I’m lucky, and 6 weeks after that to learn if I’m hired. (In the interview I’ll ask why the position is vacant, and something about the management strategy of the supervisor.) I was about to call my former husband and ask for advice when I remembered the last time we spoke he said something Buddhist about Suffering, then I felt a new detachment about my situation. Thanks, Dave! And, too, nothing takes your mind off your troubles like finding a new genetic sibling: tingling excitement, profound curiosity and sparkling joy. I’m so glad you’re part of the family, Lyman!

In other news, I’m enjoying my commute to work. I go against the majority of traffic and the scenery is inspiring me to pick up my pastels again with the rolling hills of soft grasses going from sap green to yellow ochre, the swaths of a burnt umber native plant, the soul-saving views of the wetlands, and then there are the grapes, sun shining through their glistening new leaves. And I’ve been listening to The Chronicles of Barsetshire on Audible, people must wonder about that crazy woman with a grin all over her face. I’ll probably take up singing along with Ella Fitzgerald. Getting up early to listen to the symphony of bird songs at dawn… my idea of a good time.

Let me know what’s going on with you.

Many blessings,

Karla, mom & k.j.

And as always, let me know if you’d like to be removed from this distribution list. This is my creative writing outlet, sometimes interesting, sometimes not so much.