Captain's Log #54 - Thermostat Wars & the Blow-Up

A little background:

Months ago, when we were still allowing members to wander into our office, I had two experiences of feeling compelled to ask members to back away from an employee’s cubicle and have a seat in the waiting area until she was off the phone. She was speaking to the family member of a recently deceased resident and those conversations can last 20 to 45 minutes. In both instances, when I politely asked them to take a seat, and explained that we have a duty to respect privacy laws, they were so incensed, no one had ever spoken to them so rudely before in their entire lives! 

In both cases they reported their upset to my supervisor. My boss was alarmed, and I got a long, stern lecture about the importance of customer service, with a strong rebuke that this absolutely must not happen again. Well, until yesterday. 

The office is open to residents by appointment only, until recently none of us in the room were wearing masks. I should say no one but me was wearing a mask. Then we got an order from the administration that everyone was supposed to wear a mask, but in our office, it was “hey, we’re all family” and many of them didn’t. The etiquette, I thought, is someone new coming in our office must wear a mask, and most people did, or I would ‘educate’ them. 

The husband of the most influential woman in our room works on the grounds and comes in to see her now and then but he’s Special, he doesn’t have to wear a mask, in fact, NO one can make him wear a mask. Do you see where this is going? I don’t know, I’ve got a problem with people who think they’re Special. I totally understand the concept of a ‘chip on one’s shoulder.’ No one can touch that thing on your shoulder? Here, pop. Oh, you’re upset. I politely asked him to put on his mask or take their conversation out to the hall. After he puffed up and paraded around a little, I put some more energy in my voice, “You live with her, but I don’t know where you’ve been.” After he left in a huff, another employee jumped up and confronted me, “Who made you the enforcer?” I said I did and showed him all the coronavirus literature I have taped to the outside of my cubby. He stomped down the hall to my supervisor and I got another talking to about my style of communication, and perhaps, lack of sensitivity.

Because of these episodes my supervisor spent $375 of the department’s end-of-fiscal-year funds for me to attend an online course in Interpersonal Skills. I thanked him for investing in me, he smiled broadly behind his mask, I could tell because his eyes were all squinched up. I spent two days in sweatpants and slippers taking this fascinating class via Zoom. I feel like I’ve spent most of my life studying this kind of material: Neuro-linguistic Programming; 5-years in Nonviolent Communication, teaching it for at the last year; Myers–Briggs assessment (years ago I was an INFJ.) It was like coming home to spend time in this class. There’s a new-to-me personality assessment DISK, named for the four personality types, Dominant, Influence, Steadiness and Conscientiousness. You answer some (absurd) questions online and bingo, they spit out your percentages of those components. I’m 39% Dominant, 27% Conscientious. The things they report about “Ds” is almost embarrassing: Motivated by winning, competition, successful task completing, new challenges, being in control, autonomy, being given more authority, freedom from routine, solving problems, etc. Potential barriers to success: can move too fast, ignoring important details, can ramrod actions, can be seen by others as rude, uncaring, impatient, intimidating, etc. Yikes! They nailed me! That ‘seen by others as uncaring,’ uh, in my office I really don’t care, about the stories about their dogs, their favorite obscure beer, their favorite sports team member and his statistics, when sports were being played. I had this same problem in real estate, I really didn’t care about the other agents in my office, they just did not register with me. This can come back and bite you in the butt, and so it did, and does, I fully expect future retributions.

I should have a story called Thermostat Wars. When I started the job back in September the temperature in the office was freezing. I complained. And when nobody did anything I took it upon myself to adjust the thermostat, at the remonstrative caution of the janitor who saw me do it. I think she said, “You’re going to get in trouble.” And I did. We had a big blow up, apparently everyone but me agreed that the thermostat should be maintained at 70 degrees, I could wear a sweater, which being a spinner-knitter is not too much of a hardship. The room supervisor announced to everyone that it would be set at 70 degrees and no one was to touch it. Two weeks ago, I emailed him a request to bump it up to 72 because I was freezing; he quietly did. The local power company recommends 78 degrees during the summer, which is a little warm but to come to work at 7:30a.m. and it’s colder inside than outside is absurd. Only yesterday did the office staff see that the thermostat was at 72 and someone changed it moments before I came in. He marched back to his cubby and he and the woman behind him were complaining that someone had changed the setting to 72! “We all agreed that it was going to be 70 degrees, everyone but one!” That phrase was said very loudly three times. I flew out of my chair and confronted the speaker bellowing, “Everyone but Who!? Huh, Who? Who is the person who disagreed?!” I was surprised how loud I could be, it was full-throated, deep diaphragm. I could have been louder, next time (just kidding.) My supervisor barrels down the hall and asks to see the original speaker. I go back to my cubby. Minutes later the guy comes into my cubby, wearing a mask, and for several minutes sincerely, meekly, abjectly apologizes to me. He’s so sorry, it was so unprofessional, etc. etc. Ok. I got it. Fine. You can go now. I didn’t say that, but his sincerity really came through. Fortunately, the day before I had told my supervisor that I didn’t feel respected by the people in the room, not like I need it (or care, I must care enough to have mentioned it to him) “I’m concerned that they will tell you not to hire me.” “Hmm, that’s not their decision to make.” I took that as a hopeful sign. And then this blow up. I had given him a heads up about how others feel about me.

Awhile later my supervisor comes down the hall and asks to speak with me. Down the hall I totter expecting “If you ever do this again, I’m going to have to let you go.” Or be given a piece of paper to sign, like at the last job, that will be put in my personnel folder – “you have been officially warned” blah, blah, blah. He didn’t say any of those things, he gave me two suggestions on how to handle a similar situation, either approach the other person quietly and ask them what they mean, or come to him and ask him to intercede. To be quite honest, I think he was proud of me: I didn’t know she had it in her, well done! He talked I listened, I talked he listened. I got to tell him about my previous experience in communication and that I feel perfectly comfortable controlling myself in difficult situations, but I agreed that it is important for everyone working for the State to get along. Fortunately, he had taken that Interpersonal Skills course and I had earlier given him a copy of my DISC results, so he knew the worst about me (the Dominance characteristic) before the blow up. He has faith in me. I got lucky. His behavior makes me feel loyal to him and less likely to try to find another job, although, I’ve always got my eye out for one, just in case 😉.

Anything else I would say would just be assessment, like, I feel more respected in the room and no one’s going to mess with me, etc., etc. Who knows? I’m just grateful my boss continues to give me responsibilities. He really has invested a lot of his time and personal energy training me. I get it that he trusts me and sees potential. There’s supposed to be another Probationary Report any day, I hope it will be “standard” all the way but will probably have “needs improvement on interpersonal communication.” I am on probation for 3 more months; it’s required for this position.

In other news, we still don’t have the virus at our facility, yet. I was on the units yesterday and everyone was wearing their masks - around their necks! (Almost everyone.) This bug being air borne, it’s going to come through here like…

I had an annual employee physical assessment, primarily required for a TB test, and learned I’ve gained 7 pounds in 10 months! That has got to turn around. When I explained about the explosive sneezer and lack of mask etiquette in my office, the nurse promptly set me up for an official mask fitting. He walked me to the person’s office, left a note for them, took my two phone numbers and later called me – on both lines, to confirm the appointment, then arranged for someone to read my TB test because he’d be out, she called me to connect and make an appointment. I don’t know why I’m so surprised about all this attention to detail and customer service, but it was impressive. I should write a note for his personnel folder. Anyway, I got fitted for a fairly comfortable N-95 mask that will protect me from my officemates. It’s a 3M Aura 1870+ N95 mask, the kind the nurses on the quarantine ward wear. Hard to come by, though (I got lucky, she gave me 3, “Don’t tell anyone.”)

Hey! I’m supposed to get a haircut tomorrow! What a shaggy mess I look. Traffic is up to about 70% of pre-shut down volume. I’m fortunate, I have a reverse commute. Enough people are driving at a reasonable speed so it’s safer now. Things are almost back to normal, Kevin’s able to find our favorite toilet paper again. On the one hand, I feel like I’ve missed a major cultural experience, being required to stay home for 3 months. What did I miss? On the other hand, I think my relationship is better for being out of the house so much, and the money’s been good. He does all the shopping, cooking and cleaning; I think this is a brief, unique moment in time. He’ll go back to gigging, driving all over northern California, and I won’t like it - who’s going to feed me?

The family of Bluebirds has packed up and moved out. There were at least 5, maybe 6 babies. The nest box is cleaned out and ready for the next pair. The pair of California Towhees with the nest outside our bedroom window have successfully fledged 2 or 3 new birds; they finally flew off. We did cat patrols every 30 minutes for a week and a half. Whew! We were exhausted. I don’t know why all the cats in our neighborhood like to hang out here 😉

Cleaning up loose ends. I was paid for the time I was required to be off - at the last minute. I had suggested to my boss that he could ‘dock’ my pay and put a letter in my personnel file to explain. He liked that, although fortunately it was not necessary.

I submitted The Embrace to HuffPost (https://karlascaptainslog.blogspot.com/2020/02/captains-log-48-embrace.html) and got an alarming automatic reply stating: ”As you can imagine, HuffPost receives numerous unsolicited submissions of ideas, formats, stories, suggestions and the like and that many such submissions received by HuffPost are similar to or identical to those developed by HuffPost, its employees, or otherwise available to HuffPost. Please note that receipt of your pitch will not entitle you to any compensation because of HuffPost's use of any such similar or identical material.” I feel like I’ve given away my intellectual property with any compensation. Es no bueno.

Lastly, I’ve begun to flick-comb a Shetland hogget (first) fleece I got from Wind Rush Farm in preparation before combing the fiber. You know the best thing about a Shetland fleece, besides its incomparable softness? It’s small, only 2 ½ pounds, not like a honking Corriedale fleece at 10-17 pounds. The fiber length is short, 2 to 2 ½ inches. Short, which this blog is not.

More later. Let me know what’s up with you!

Karla/k.j./mom